Outreach

Here is a photo of the outreach team I'm leading with my amazing partner Ayshka. We're off to Puerto Rico which is truly a blessing. We'll be there for 4 weeks working with a church there running meetings, evangelising and a whole bunch of other stuff. Our name is Team Fuego. Fuego is Spanish for fire. They are an amazing bunch of people and God using all of them amazingly. Also they're absolutely hilarious. Please keep us in your prayers when we go there for the month of July.

song of the moment #1

I'm going to start a section on what song I'm listening to the most from time to time. Currently my favourite song is by Jars of clay entitled "Oh my God". Its a very honest what I'd call an epic song. It speaks to me because it deals in some way with injustice apathy and it lays it out there. That's kind of where I am right now. I'm fed of being someone who is up and down all the time in certain areas. I want my relationship with God to be one of constant passion, where I yearn for him so much it hurts when we're apart. I'm hungry right now for something more in my relationship with God. Its so deep and I just want to keep digging. Anyways here are the lyrics. Enjoy:

"Oh My God"

Oh my God, look around this place
Your fingers reach around the bone
You set the break and set the tone
Flights of grace, and future falls
In present pain
All fools say, "Oh my God"

Oh my God, Why are we so afraid?
We make it worse when we don't bleed
There is no cure for our disease
Turn a phrase, and rise again
Or fake your death and only tell your closest friend
Oh my God.

Oh my God, can I complain?
You take away my firm belief and graft my soul upon your grief
Weddings, boats and alibis
All drift away, and a mother cries

Liars and fools; sons and failures
Thieves will always say
Lost and found; ailing wanderers
Healers always say
Whores and angels; men with problems
Leavers always say
Broken hearted; separated
Orphans always say
War creators; racial haters
Preachers always say
Distant fathers; fallen warriors
Givers always say
Pilgrim saints; lonely widows
Users always say
Fearful mothers; watchful doubters
Saviors always say

Sometimes I cannot forgive
And these days, mercy cuts so deep
If the world was how it should be, maybe I could get some sleep
While I lay, I dream we're better,
Scales were gone and faces light
When we wake, we hate our brother
We still move to hurt each other
Sometimes I can close my eyes,
And all the fear that keeps me silent falls below my heavy breathing,
What makes me so badly bent?
We all have a chance to murder
We all feel the need for wonder
We still want to be reminded that the pain is worth the thunder

Sometimes when I lose my grip, I wonder what to make of heaven
All the times I thought to reach up
All the times I had to give
Babies underneath their beds
Hospitals that cannot treat all the wounds that money causes,
All the comforts of cathedrals
All the cries of thirsty children - this is our inheritance
All the rage of watching mothers - this is our greatest offense

Oh my God
Oh my God
Oh my God

...

Things are good. Its great having no reason to complain. I'm just really happy with where I am right. There's still a deep hunger within me for the things of God but in terms of life in general I'm excited. Its summer time here and the sun has been shining for the last week and a half, its great. I've nothing really profound to say which is kinda a regular occurrence for me so I'm basically rambling a blog post. Saw Spiderman 3...kinda depressing. The one thing I enjoyed was the redemption of the character Harry Osbourne. He was the one thing I enjoyed in the movie. Otherwise I found it frustrating. People just need to shut up and listen sometimes. We're often so inward focused that we view the rest of the world in relation to how everything suits us. We get caught up it ourselves, that's what happened to Peter Parker. Anyways, I also played mini golf this week which was fun. I'm now slowly becoming a bass player having played bass this past week at our Show me Your glory conference. It has been a real blast. Yeah, that's it really

Overwhelmed

I sometimes get moments, where I'm overcome with gratefulness and thankfulness. The things that I've done and seen are so amazing. Whether it be peeling oranges in New Jersey, jet skiing in Perth or playing football on a sunny summer evening in Ballincollig. All these things are moments in my life that I'll treasure. I so often get bogged down with situations and circumstance but its so good to just take time to reflect on the blessings we have received. I look out my window and its sunny, that's an answer to prayer. I'm slowly learning to life life to the full potential that God has given me. Its such a journey with many twists and turns. I've come to a point where I'm excited about the next turn because I don't know what to expect or what its going to look like. Sometimes its best for us to just not know.

Responsibility

This topic is something that has been on my heart recently. The question was put to me today "Where does my responsibility in situations stop and someone elses begins?" In my role here as a small group leader its sometimes hard to say "Ok I need to draw a line here and give it over to God". We often place false responsibility upon ourselves without even realising it. We feel like certain situations are ours to be responsible for and when a consequence or outcome isn't one we wanted or ever intended we often blame ourselves. Blame that should never have been ours.

This is one thing God has been really laying on my heart. He's been saying "Let me take responsibility". Its in his hands that situations, relationships, issues etc are safest. Even something as simple as praying out a situation and verbally giving it to God helps. He wants to take our burdens and those things that weigh on our minds. I'm now choosing to give the situations in my life to God. Sometimes we don't want to give these things up because we want to be in control of the things in our lives. I've found that as I'm more intimate with God and as I get to know him more its easier to give every aspect of my life to him. I trust him. We're often slow to give things to God because we don't know him well him enough to trust him with the things that are most important to us. So I encourage you to get more intimate with God. Work on your personal relationship with him, then release situations in your life to his will. Relationships, choices, the future, finances, family. He wants the responsibility and its safest in his hands

memoirs of a bogwatcher

I couldn't think of a title for this post so this was provided by my fearless leader the great gordini. Not only is he an amazing leader but also a jedi knight. Anyways I'm trying to blog more. I now have scheduled a half hour everyday for emailing blogging etc. So hopefully this will the last post about me meaning to blog more. I guess its just not high on my priority list. There's a load of other things i need to do before blogging but hopefully this scheduling of blogging etc will help the regularity of the blogging. So yeah. God bless

What's next

My apologies for lack of postage recently but lack of motivation and ill health have been a factor. Things have been really interesting over the last few weeks. The main thing going on with me now is what's next. I know I have 4 months left here and I'm really excited about that but my next step has been on my mind. I have a bunch of things open to me and I could do something completely new and different. The biggest thing for me is to do what I feel God is leading me to do and I'm not quite sure what that is right now. At this moment in time I'm truly up for anything and I mean anything because I now realise that god is bigger than what society thinks is "best". That often translates as playing it safe and whats accepted. I don't want to be "accepted" or do something for the sake of doing it. Is a college degree something that has to be done now, not necessarily. I'm just at a point in my life where I want everything God has for me. That could definitely be something regular, I have no problem with that but I'm just in the place where I'm open to what's irregular.

Krispy Kreme

Us small group leader guys are just sitting around our desk just discussing Krispy Kreme, the best doughnut place in the world so I said I'd capture the moment. Its just so good. Milk and doughnuts. I just want to cry because they're so good. Its my kinda hangout. 50's style decor, doughnuts and milk and good friends. Boston cream, raspberry, cheese cake. I'm learning to appreciate doughnuts a lot more. They're a really good thing.

Intimacy

God's been speaking to me a lot recently about this topic and I'm finally starting to hear him on the whole thing. I believe intimacy is the biggest key in our relationship with God. It is so much more than reading our bibles or worshipping. They are only part of the bigger picture of intimacy. Intimacy is about getting into the presence of God and staying in that place. Intimacy is communication. Talking with our Father. If you take the example of a marriage and contrast it with the relationship between us and God. In a marriage communication is so important. Sharing how our day is going, how we're feeling, our dreams, our desires, our frustrations. I believe our relationship with God should be the same. Honesty and vulnerability are so important. God wants us to be vulnerable with him. He wants us to want him. He created us for relationship and He's calling each of us by name back to him. I encourage and urge you to not forget why we were created, for relationship with our heavenly Daddy. He's waiting with open arms.

My apologies

Our wireless has been down since I got here so I haven't been able to post or email or anything but thankfully its now fixed so my posts will be more regular. All I really have to say now is stay in the presence of God, everyday. Its so key.

Peanut Butter...

isn't it a fantastic thing. Tonight I had peanut butter and toast with a glass of milk and I had the urge to blog. I've been eating peanut butter for as far back as I can remember. I don't remember my life without peanut butter. Its weird, having spent the last year in North America I realise they put peanut butter in everything. I have a huge fondness for peanut butter in a spread form but I'm not partial to the other varieties it comes in like chocolate, ice-cream etc. Its weird because its my favourite spread of all time but I'm not fond of it in other products. Maybe it could be due to the fact I've grown up with peanut butter in one format for my entire life and experiencing it in so many other varieties at once is just too much.

Then there is the age old dilemma of crunchy or smooth. It doesn't really bother me which I have, whatever is in the cupboard is fine. However, for some it must be one or the other. I found crunchy annoying when I had braces for most of my teenage years and smooth just goes down easy. There's pros and cons for both. For my North American friends there's a whole load of other varieties with the peanut butter spread range but that's for another day. This is just a toast to a wonderful food product that has impacted my life

Just some thoughts

I know I'm kinda turning into the kind of blogger I myself might find irritating but anyways I'll keep going. Sometimes we forget how privileged a position we are in as Christians or as people in general. We often let circumstance get in the way and consume us. We see whats right in front of us. A big issue or a problem. Sometimes we focus in on something so minuscule in terms of the big picture. In some cases the big issue is often something inside of us that the situation we face stirs up. How do we choose to react? Where do you put the blame? I think its time stop looking for somewhere to put the blame or for someone to blame. Lets not hide behind other peoples inadequacies or failings in order to cast a shadow over our own insecurities and fears. Its time to start examining our own hearts and asking God to reveal things to us. Don't live in the shadows any longer. We weren't designed or intended for that. We're meant to walk in the light and don't be scared that our failings or inadequacies will tarnish or dim that light. God loves us for who we are and HE is the one calling us out of the shadows into HIS light.

Technology & Time

So again technology hinders my progress in the blogging world but I have found a spot in my home where I can connect and it works. I've been thinking about time, how quickly it goes by and how much can change in such a short space of time. This time last year I travelled to Boston not knowing what the future held and sitting here a year later I had no comprehension of what could have happened or where I have ended up. It has really shown me that God can do anything. I've seen and done things I thought I'd never see happen. The biggest thing for me is seeing the change in myself. All in the space of year, its amazing how we view time as something so vast and huge yet as it goes by it seems like a flash. We often look back and say "where has the time gone?". Just don't look back with regret or what could have been but look back and remember the times that made you're face light up with joy.

Technology..

..can be very annoying sometimes. Take our wireless network or example. Dies yesterday for no reason. I spend pretty much the last day trying to get it working. Its crazy how my laptop goes from not picking up any wireless signals to picking up 5 and then finally it picks up our own network but doesn't connect. (All in the space of 1 minute). So its kinda frustrating when a load of what I want to do revolves around my laptop with Internet access. Anyways its funny how much the world around us can change in the space of a decade. How our whole world can come crashing down when our mobile phones die when 10 years ago such a device didn't exist for a lot of us. One thing is certain in this life, change. Do we adapt or do we stay set in our way? I'm finally learning to adapt.

Allergies

I know of allergies to foods and animals, I myself am allergic to certain cats. However having spent the last year or so in Canada and occasionally coming home to Ireland I've realised I'm allergic to my country or more so its climate. For years I've had problems with my sinuses which my mother has always blamed on the amount of milk I intake. However this was been ruled out. I spend 10 months in Toronto with nothing close to a cold but the second day I'm back in Ireland I'm going through a box of tissues a day (well almost) and when I return to the maple leaf city my symptoms leave. Explanation? Probably the damp climate in my homeland doesn't mix with my immune system which makes my homecoming slightly annoying.

New direction

My blogging in recent times has become stale and inconsistent so I'm going to take it in a new direction. Instead of a personal account of what's going on in my life, I'm going to blog more on issues and things on my heart. I guess stuff God is doing in me and those around me. I'm just giving myself a lot more freedom in my blogging which i always had but never truly realised that I had it. Lets hope it works and I actually do start blogging more.

Supernatural life

So this past weekend we went on mini outreach which is like a practise run for our main outreach which is in January. We went to TACF which is a satellite church of the main church here. It was an absolutely amazing weekend. We stayed in the countryside at a property with over 100 acres of land. The owner has been dramatically altered by God this past month. He has this vision for the land and this huge Barn to be used as a kind of retreat centre for youth and anyone who needs to experience to healing love of God. We were literally there for 10 minutes and this man Steve told us his story and he just broke down in tears just completely rocked by the love of God. We were there to clear this barn. We had a bonfire going for 2 and a half days with the wood we took out this barn. We had so much fun with chainsaws, sledgehammers and axes. We also were driving around in golf carts all weekend. We were really blessed by them and they were really blessed by us. We also went to some cell groups and got involved in the Sunday meeting. It was just a really cool weekend.

This past week I had a really amazing supernatural experience. We had whats called the glory school with Patricia King which is all about the supernatural and third heaven encounters. I had what I can only describe as like the hand of God in my mouth or angels or something supernatural working in my mouth. The inside of my mouth was moving around without me physically doing anything. What was going on in my mouth isn't even physically possible I don't think. It was like my teeth were moving around or something in a circular motion. It was unreal. I've asked God about what it all means. My roommate Shaun talked about God releasing a new authority through my words and the things that I speak/sing will have a greater anointing. Also I got an email from Larry & Ann about it and what came to their minds was Isaiah 6 and when the angel touched his lips with a burning coal and when I was just spending time with God and as I prayed the passage out loud it just really resonated with me. so yeah, god is meeting with me and working in me, its really cool.

My time here is going well, difficult at times but I'm constantly learning and growing as well as helping others do the same, so yeah I'm excited to be coming home soon for Christmas. You're prayers continually bless me, thanks guys.

...I'm really no good with titles

Again my apologies in the irregularity of my posts but its hard finding time to sit and just type emails, blogs etc so I'm going to try my utmost to improve...I promise. The biggest thing that's probably going on since I last posted has been my "guitar fast". About two weeks ago God laid it on my heart to just lay down music for a month. It was weird because it was like just a moment and the thought popped into my head really clearly. So why I'm doing this is recently I've found it hard to lead worship and just entering in myself. Also I found it becoming to much apart of my identity. So I've laid it down completely to just reexamine my motivations, my views and just setting aside more time for God to speak to me & to just dwell in his presence...and its working which is really cool.

Of course I had the crew from home over. It was brilliant. I loved watching God meet with each of them in their unique ways( which mainly involved symptoms of drunkenness). The conference was amazing...In all my time here I've never sensed the tangible presence of God like I did during that conference. God is good. I also was given a supply package of various food items which gave me the opportunity to spread the gospel of Irish chocolate & Hunky Dorys. Good times.

In terms of the daily goings on at the school things are going really well. This group of students are really gifted and just genuinely nice people. Everyday it just hits me how blessed I am to be here and sometimes its so easily to slip into routine but its just fantastic to be surrounded by people passionately pursuing God, waking up to worship every morning and just watching God work in people and in me too. Its really cool. I preached last Thursday...it was crazy...just having the confidence in myself to step out. Its amazing

All in all things are going really well. Your prayers are greatly appreciated & I'll try and be more regular in my postings.

Heart Surgery

My apologies for the lack of posts but these last few weeks have been extremely hectic. We've been right in the middle of core value month with the students and its been very intense. Its been an emotional roller coaster for everyone involved but God is working in everyone and its fantastic to see. This is an amazing bunch of students and all of them have great personalities and there's a very good atmosphere amongst them.
God has really been meeting with me personally over the last two weeks. Even though I'm serving and ministering doesn't mean God takes a break on working in my heart. During the 1st day of the Father heart I shed some tears and God was just meeting with me again and it was great. But it was just this last Thursday where God answered a prayer I've been praying for a long time. It was healing life's hurts week and the teaching had been good. It was during the ministry time and I was just praying for my small group guys and after i prayed for them I just took a step back and completely broke and the tears just flowed and flowed. This was something I'd been crying out for, for the last year and God completely met with me and I love the way he does it when we least expect it. So although I've been pouring out loads, he is continually pouring back in
Things are going really well here. I'm part of a fantastic team of small group leaders and supported and mentored by an amazing senior staff. The students are a fantastic bunch of people. I'm being given loads of opportunities with worship and different things. I'm where God wants me to be and I'm loving it. I went to my first baseball game on Tuesday and that was brilliant. We got on the big screen 7 times, it was great. God is completely blessing me and I'm having a blast.

Influx of students

So they arrived yesterday all apprehensive and nervous. It was like looking at myself....Just as I started writing this i went to Denise's myspace and saw all the photos of the wedding. Wow it actually happened, they're married. It doesn't really set in until you actually see photos but i don't think it will truly hit me until I'm home at Christmas and its like... you're married...cool. I wish i could have been there to join in the celebration and knowing our bunch it would be some celebration. However, I'm in Toronto and it feels right to be here. As I said it was like looking at myself just six months ago and thinking what am I getting myself into but God completely blessed me with that step of faith. The new students are great and there's a fantastic mix among them, so its very exciting. We went on staff retreat last week and that was a fantastic time. God blasted some people and there was such a sense of joy among us. It was brilliant. Hot tub at a ski resort too so that was kinda cool but no snow. Still a class time though. Since I've been back I've been sensing the presence of the Lord and the holy spirit like never before. Its so tangible and so real. I feel it through my entire body. I feel like he's just constantly equipping me, putting armor on and giving me the tools and weapons that I need. Even as I walk around or if I'm just sitting down he's just continually working in me. I hope it continues because I've such confidence in him. Its totally class. God is working here.